So instead of drunkly rambling on a hotel on my campus grounds as planned, last night I spent the New Year’s eve listening to fireworks. From a hospital room. But why? How come? Was there a party? Non. Yesterday afternoon I took my mom to the hospital and it turned out that she had the dengue fever. Damn Aedes Aegypti (yes, they are one of the very few things I remember from Biology class, probably in kindergarten when I still ruled at science). I fucking hate those little fucking monstrosities. My mom was in a pretty awful condition, with the delirium that freaked me out so much I actually cried :( Yes, I am lame and though I was glad to hear it was pretty normal and caused by the fever, it was still really freaky.
Anyway, proving that even though I am a rebellious, stubborn, careless bitch of a daughter I still love my family very much, I stayed with my mom at the hospital last night. No, I’m not trying to pay back all my mother’s kindness and all. That just sounds so insincere, and I don’t think all these years of being a troubled child, always scheming to get my way, and falling in love with boys she warned me against could ever be paid back. I’m just trying to be a good kid I guess? I don’t know. Does anyone really need a reason to stay with their sick mother? I think not.
Last night was pretty depressing. Not because I had to skip all the fun festivities, I didn’t even think much about it. Not because I looked like crap with my oily worn out face and disheveled hair. Not because my blanket smelled funny. It was because my mom seemed so helpless. Usually she’s so domineering and strong-willed and positive and all, but now she doesn’t want to eat or drink though she knows she needs the fluids :( I can’t imagine how awful it feels, must be such a struggle to even drink a glass of water :( Very, very depressing.
Dear mom, please get well soon. Then you can hiss at me for not being able to drive though I would just grunt and pout because I’m evil. Afterwards we can watch a movie together and you can annoyingly ask me again and again what’ll happen next and I won’t yell “How the hell should I know?? I haven’t watched it. Come on!” because I’m not that evil. Then you can go to Tokyo with dad and have all the fun and tasty Japanese food you deserve, and maybe bring home said tasty Japanese food and drugstore makeup and Momotaro books and, I don’t know, useless little fancy gadgets?
Well I’m getting back to the hospital some time later, maybe not staying overnight this time. My brother’s supposed to come home some hours from now so he’ll take over the overnight business I guess. Hmmm what should I pack to the hospital? I’m thinking mp3s and folders of computer files to sort out (what? it’s a hobby and a good one too). Last night all I did beside staring at the IV and ringing the nurse bell was… Let’s see… I tried to read Milan Kundera’s ‘The Unbearable Lightness of Being’ but got tired. Then I tried making shopping lists (basic tanks, skinny trousers, t-shirts, and a myriad of others) though I don’t really have the cash for any of them. Then I tried drawing those items but I suck at drawing. Then I absent-mindedly surfed the web with my mom’s cellphone, probably adding a lot to the phone bill (sorry mom!). Then I texted happy new year greetings (hey, at least everyone else should be having fun, right?). Then I slept a bit and woke up. Then I tried to sleep but couldn’t because I had to check on the IV and make my mom drink more fluids and eat. *Sigh* I hope she’ll get well soon.
Oh I hope January will get way better than this. Which reminds me, I’m getting closer to being 20! Nooooooooooo! My youth! Don’t gooooooo!