Often I find myself picturing myself in these certain heartbreaking situations, as if to prepare and protect myself from what’s to come. Retreating in some sort safe pessimism, ironically one of the things I couldn’t stand the most from my previous love. Am I pathetic? Cowardly? Yes and yes, and I’m not proud.

I’m even starting to think that my current “not-bothered-to-make-an-effort” standpoint is just some bullshit excuse to cover my fear of being rejected.

I think way too much.


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